The longest blog you’ll read today

Instead of picking my favorite movie of the decade, I’m going to structure it by year so it’s easier to follow and I don’t regret picking one choice as the number 1 film of the decade because they are all legendary.

I’m going to make the summary brief and what I like about it memorable, because they are my picks, often 1, for a whole year in the decade. I’m picking them out of pure joy when watching them, not from the perspective of a movie critic, because c’mon, we both know that’s lame – we both crave excitement, explosions, swagger so cool you’re left in awe, charm so swift guys want to be him and girls want to be with him, scenes that are so iconic you quote them into oblivion whenever they are suitable for the occasion, which is ALL. THE. TIME.

80 – The Blues Brothers

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On a mission from God, The Blues Brothers: Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd) and Jake Blues (Jon Belushi) put a band together in Chicago to save their Catholic home they grew up in.

Would this count as a musical? If so, it’s the best God Damn Musical In The Galaxy. Is anybody as cool as the Blues Brothers short of Indiana Jones? They have moves for days, swagger and sideburns so rad hot chicks stop and look instead of the latter, their music makes you dance even if you’re lying in bed, and if that doesn’t get you excited, they are On A Mission From God.

Look I’m not a big God guy myself, but if God himself shines a light on you in the middle of the holy place (Church), and sends you on a mission to earn the money to save the epicness James Brown was creating on every Sunday Mass, the mission needs to be given to only the Coolest of cool guys. Guys so cool that there coolness is timeless.

Jake: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address…

Elwood: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.

Jake: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.

Other 81’s: The Shining, Raging Bull, Caddyshack, 

81 – Raiders of the Lost Ark

In this scene, made famously known later, Harrison Ford was suffering from food poisoning and had to make frequent trips between scenes to the bathroom because he was pooping his guts out. So instead of getting into an eye-gouging, whip action, fight to the death, Indy decided to just shoot the swordsman instead. So simple, yet very efficient.

If you’re a frequent reader, then you know of my ridiculous obsession with Indiana Jones. If you’re new, I’ll shed some light briefly why Indy is the greatest action hero of all-time.

  1. See’s Nazi’s, says “Nazi’s, I hate these guys”, then pulverizes each said Nazi into dirt like the scum that they are
  2. Is a professor by day, badass gunslinging whip-cracking archeologist by—all the time
  3. Gets the girl, every time
  4. Has a sweet-ass cowboy hat
  5. The wit, charm, sarcasm, a young lad like myself tries to emulate as often as possible
  6. I could go all-day, but I have a blog to write…

The first 3 Indy films are the best, the one with Shia LeBouf annoyed me, I still watched it and will if it’s on TV, but it doesn’t fit the mold. Indy 5 comes out in 2019. I’m skeptical. Temple of Doom is equally as awesome as Raiders of the Lost Ark, but in different ways. Shorty is a great sidekick and Mola Ram is one of the most underrated villains of our pastime. But everybody can get behind the movement of hating Nazi’s and if anybody is on my side, I’d want it to be Indy.

84 – Red Dawn

WOLVERINES!!! This is such a gem. A group of teenagers; Jed (Patrick Schwayze), Matt (Charlie Sheen), Robert (Thomas Howell), Erica (Lea Thompson) friends and girlfriends band together to defend their home country (USA) against invading Russians sparking WWIII. The Wolverines are on a mission to save their captured parents and kick ass the only way Americans know how – right where it hurts

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Cool Guy Facts:

  • “Red Dawn” was given the code name of the military operation in Iraq that captured Saddam Hussein on December 13, 2003. John Milius (director) felt honored by that. 
  • Two CIA men came on set, having received reports of two Russian Tanks in the area. They were relieved to hear the tanks were just for a movie.
  • Red Dawn was the first PG-13 rated movie to be released in the US: August 10, 1984.
  • William Smith, who plays the Spetsnaz commander Strenlnikov, didn’t receive any special language training for his role. Thanks to years of military service and years working with both the CIA and NSA, Smith was already fluent in Russian and several others. – (All Facts from IMDb Trivia)

Other 84’s: The Terminator, The Karate Kid, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones Temple of Doom, The Natural

85 – Silverado

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Kevin Costner is great in Silverado. The whole cast is great starring Kevin Kline as Paden, Scott Glenn as Emmett, and Danny Glover as Mal, but Costner as Jake is still my favorite. Silverado is in my Top 3 Westerns of all-time. It’s filled with suspense and drama. But doesn’t take itself to seriously as it’s filled with adventure, excitement, friendship and justice.

This film is more memorable for it’s awesome action-filled scenes rather than the quotes, not saying the writing is bad, quite the opposite of that in fact. The writer Lawrence Kasdan also worked on Raiders of the Lost Ark so it has a similar-feel that adds to the thrill in the story.

So many great movies often referred to as “classics” came out this year and Silverado is often forgotten about. But I didn’t forget and you shouldn’t either.

Other 85’s: this entire blog

86 – Big Trouble in Little China

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We already have The Blues Brothers, Indiana Jones, and now we’re adding Jack Burton to the list?! How many cool guys can be included in one decade?

Jack is a mullet having, tank top wearing, Harley Davidson hat affiliating, American trucker with a no-bullshit attitude who accompanies his friend Wang Chi at the San Francisco airport to pickup his fiancé Miao Yin after a long flight from China. Until a Chinese street gang kidnaps Wang’s fiancé because their evil sorcerer who’s been under a curse for thousands of years, needs to find a green-eyed Chinese woman to marry to lift it.

Except one problem. These Chinese scoundrels from their intimidating street gang have never fought against the wrath of the amount of Fuck-Off’s Jack Burton is going to punch into every one of their evil souls.

Jack fights through impossible odds to fight against gangsters, powerful sorcerer bodyguards, and one extremely creepy maniac hellbent on destroying everyone trying to prevent him from freeing his curse. An underrated badass, Jack and his mullet do what they do best, one roundhouse kick, well-placed uzi-bullet at a time.

Other 86’s: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Top Gun, Platoon, Stand by Me

88 – Midnight Run

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Jack Walsh *is every badass named Jack or John, seriously* (Robert DeNiro) is sent to return the bail money to the mafia’s accountant nicknamed “The Duke” (Charles Grodin). When Jack finds The Duke with little to no effort, the FBI tries to steal him away from Jack as they are a bit embarrassed at the thought that one bounty hunter can find a guy where an entire federal organization couldn’t. The trip takes Jack across the country from New York to Los Angeles as other bounty hunters, the FBI, and the Mafia try to intercept them. If Jack succeeds, he gets a $100,000 fee.

Midnight Run is a fun action-packed road-trip movie. It’s just as funny as it is adventurous.   The characterization of Jack and The Duke is impressive as it builds from a job/evasion to a relationship. The story is simplistic and the adventure is something to marvel at. The humor is what makes this movie so great when added to the suspense of the story giving a healthy balance between crime and fun. The ending is rememberable and satisfying, one of the greats!

88 – Die Hard

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This is the best Die Hard film and any other opinions will not be accepted. My dad thinks Live Free or Die Hard is the best because the quotes are on-par, but that horrendous Harrier Jet scene ruined the whole movie in comparison. John McClane is one of the biggest hardasses in film history. A NY detective gets invited to a Christmas Party by his ex-wife at Nakatomi Plaza, except a bunch of terrorists decide to crash the party, “Got invited to a Christmas party by mistake, who knew?”

One of the most underrated quotes from this movie is when John is talking to the 911 operator while in a tank top and barefoot on top of the roof armed with a submachine gun taken from an asshole terrorist who tried to kill him moments before and the 911 operator thinks it’s a prank call:

 

 

No fucking shit lady DOES IT SOUND LIKE I’M ORDERING A PIZZA?!  – classic

88 – Big


Josh wishes to be Big to enjoy the cool things about being an adult and his wish gets granted as he wakes up one day to realize he is the same 12 year old, except in a grown up’s body. Imagine the joys of a kid but in every day scenarios now, like: flicking the lights on and off a bazillion times while rolling down the street in a limo with half your body dancing through the sunroof, having a trampoline in your living room, dancing on a life-sized piano with your billionaire boss, it’s pure comedy.

My favorite scene is when Josh (Tom Hanks) tries Caviar for the first time. He half-coughs, half-spits it out in a dramatically hilarious fashion. I do this every time I taste something that kills tastebuds. Except for the spitting part, I just mimic him in equally dramatic fashion, Oscar-worthy performance I might add.

 

Other 88’s: Beetlejuice, Bull Durham, Rambo III, Eight Men Out

89 – Uncle Buck

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The last person anybody would want to babysit their kids, Buck is a gambling, authentic, and carefree guy who takes on the duties as a last resort to watch over a rebellious teenager and her younger brother and sister.

The relationship between Uncle Buck and Tia (rebellious niece) grows throughout the movie and it’s an interesting dynamic that evolves in a wonderful way. Some memorable quotes and scenes are easily remembered in this family-loving film.

 

Other 89’s: Lethal Weapon 2, Major League

*All pictures and trivia are from IMDb, clips from YouTube, and GIFs from Giphy*

Let me know your favorite 80’s movies and some of your favorite scenes and quotes! 

@TheAlbumWeb

 

 

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