I saw this picture while researching for a Badass Nature Fact for my weekly Weekend Havoc blog. I searched and searched and couldn’t find a back story to this picture. So, in epic fashion, I am going to create a backstory to how this picture came to. I can go many ways with this, whether it’ll be the likely scenario where he raised an abandoned Snow Cub Leopard from infancy….or it could go something more like this…

(Editors Note: *I’m the editor but I’m super official so deal with it* Mongolian names are taboo and I found Enkhtuyaa means Ray of Peace. It’s occurred 9,721 times in history according to the trusty Wikipedia.com. Molotov and USSR were common names for children because of a strong Russian and Tibetan influence in the country. This was fun to write, it sucks in quality because it’s straight from my brain to the blog, treat it like a self-aware bad-good movie).


 

img_3786 Molotov, as seen in the picture to the left, grew up as a young boy with his three younger sisters and his father. His mother, Nergui (Nameless) left his father for a Tibetan Warlord, who thought he was the hot shit of the mountains at the time, kidnapping his sisters Altantsetseg (Golden Flower), Bolormaa (Crystal Woman), and disappearing deep into the Tibetan Mountains. Naransetseg (Sun Flower) Molotov’s oldest sister, was executed for going against her mother’s wishes. Molotov’s father was never the same after this. His father, also known as Enkhtuyaa meaning Ray of Peace, a women’s name I must add, swore vengeance on his estranged wife and vowed to train his eldest son to be fierce warrior and carry out his vengeance that he swore to uphold decades ago. Enkhtuyaa swore an oath many years prior to never commit another act of violence, his wife leaving him could bring him back to his old profession. He spent most of his days practicing the ways of mindfulness as a Monk.

He was a mysterious addition to the village where he met his wife Nergui by an arranged marriage, and he lucked out BIG TIME, Nergui was a smoking hot young warrior princess. Initially she was going to marry one of the most legendary warriors of the area, but he was caught in an avalanche the day before freezing to death. Weeks later the villagers mummified his frozen body and put it in the center of the village. Nergui would often sneak out in the middle of the night and weep at his feet. Nergui ended up marrying Enkhtuyaa, but in the back of her mind she knew, she was destined to be a warrior princess living out her dream of fighting Snow Leopards and Chinese Samurai. She just needed a man evil enough to make her wish become a reality.

Enkhtuyaa’s days were simple, he meditated and made children. He was the happiest man in all the land. Until one day, Ganzorig (Courage of Steel), trotted down the mountain on his white horse accompanied by his elite protection force known as Snow Yeti’s. At first they seemed peaceful sharing food with the locals and greetings. They stayed for weeks getting a feel for the environment and the people. Later discovered they were setting up booby traps, building rapport with the locals and recruited Nergui to enact her plan. Nergui was taking a liking to Ganzorig and spent most of her time by his side. Enkhtuyaa never noticed because he was meditating all day while his rugrats of kids ran around in the yard throwing snowballs at neighboring booger-eaters. Molotov, only being 10 years old at the time, watched over his younger sisters and noticed his mother flirting and kissing Ganzorig. Molotov knew that things were changing for the worse.

The next night, all hell broke loose. Screams of terror echoed across the mountain, Snow Yeti’s firing their advanced Bow and Arrows hitting warfighter’s in the chest launching them feet across the snow as if they just got hit by a missile. Molotov sprinted across the village to his home to find his father fighting in a full on deathmatch against two Snow Yeti’s. Molotov ran at a full out sprint, 4.1 40 yard dash in record speed, headfirst into a Snow Yeti’s back toppling him over the edge of the patio railing and down the mountainside 100’s of feet below.

Enkhtuyaa Chuck Norris’ed the second Snow Yeti with a roundhouse kick to the sternum catapulting him down the side of the mountain joining his other not-so-lucky friend. Then in epic fashion, Enkhtuyaa turned to Molotov and said something straight out of a Quigley Down Under movie, “I said I never had much use for a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick, I never said I didn’t know how to do it”. 

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Enkhtuyaa and Molotov commando crawled out of their house, and onto a large snow berm  just outside the perimeter overlooking the village. Snow Yeti’s were executing people, kidnapping the children and loading them into large cages like Maximus in Gladiator, and at the helm of it all was Ganzorig and Nergui. Before they left, Enkhtuyaa and Molotov witnessed the darkest and most gruesome murder of Narantsetseg (Sun Flower), their daughter/sister, committed by a Snow Yeti. Nergui, abandoned her daughter, and was already halfway up the mountain with her other daughters for their escape. Narantsetseg was executed and her own mother let it happen.

This is where Enkhtuyaa swore to Molotov that he would train him forging him into being the hardest hardass, the Tibetan and Mongolian culture has ever seen.

Enkhtuyaa was a descendant of Genghis Khan himself. Though Enkhtuyaa vowed inner peace as an adult more than lopping off heads with his tomahawk, his training from a child to early adulthood proved he could handle himself in any situation. Having a girls name he got a lot of shit when he was in training, until they realized *insert heavy guitar riffs here, look at GIF below, keep reading* Enkhtuyaa trained alongside Snow Leopards, and rumor has it, he rid one down a mountain Planet of the Apes-style while shooting his AK-47 in one hand and swinging his tomahawk in the other when a band of Russian misfits tried to claim the meat of an “easy kill”. Yet they didn’t know one of the biggest badasses was shooting icicles from his eyeballs as he, the bloodthirsty Snow Leopard he was riding, and the Avalanche he was surfing, was hellbent on vaporizing them, there families, and there family’s families.

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Molotov became proficient in horseback riding/slaying, Tomahawk throwing, All handheld weaponry including AK-47’s, Bow and Arrows, Rocket Launchers, Boobytraps, Homemade Explosives, Grenades, you name it, he could do it, to perfection. Enkhtuyaa taught him the ways of the beast. How to tame a Snow Leopard and make it hunt, kill, and work alongside in battle.


15 Years Later

As Enkhtuyaa forged Molotov into the modern day Tarzan Ju-Jitzu Commando, Enkhtuyaa no longer meditated. Those who interacted with him said he turned into a monster. His inner-peace was gone. Some say he turned into the beast. The soul from his eyes was gone, it was darkness filled with revenge. Molotov was ready. Ready for Battle. Ready for War. Ready for VENGEANCE!

The legend says that one night, a night of  a full moon, 2 Sky Gods were seen floating from the air firing Grenades from their Grenade Launchers at a fortress as they flew under canopy into the middle of Ganrzorig’s palace. Snow Leopard’s maimed and gripped Snow Yeti Snipers heads in their mouths as they crept along taking out the outer security guards. Enkhtuyaa landed on upper-wall and somersaulted forward whipping his Tomahawk as a Big Ol’ Bastard firing a .50 cal Machine-gun at Molotov nearly missing him with bullets that tear the human body in half. The Big Ol’ Bastard initially took the Tomahawk like a champ off his helmet until Enkhutyaa one-punched his exposed nose into his skull.

Molotov forced to maneuver his parachute due to incoming fire landing through the roof into a living room filled with 6 Snow Yeti’s preparing an ambush on Enkhutyaa. Miraculously only suffering from a bruised ego, Molotov grabbed both the grenades on his chest rig, pulled the pins, and Sticky-Bombed them to 2 Snow Yeti’s cheeks similar to the explosives used on Tanks in Saving Private Ryan, as he barrel rolled behind several other Snow Yeti’s using them as human shields.

The 2 Snow Yeti’s turned into bloody mist as the 4 other Snow Yeti’s were blinded by what was left of their friends and heard ear-piercing hums from the explosion. Molotov grabbed each of them and pushed them out the front door as they were greeted by Enkhutyaa unleashing his inner Demon looking like Commando as he chopped what was last of the elite fighting force in half.

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After running out of ammo and seizing the opportunity, Enkhutyaa grabbed a spear to his left and charged up the stairs into the fortress kicking down the front door and crow-hopping like Vladimir Guerrero from Right Field throwing out a runner at Home Plate, spearing Nergui in the chest as she sat from her helm, thinking the chaos outside was handled.

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Nergui was pinned to her throne as she slowly wept and bled out, dying as a princess she destined to be, but not the warrior death she envisioned.  Enkhtuyaa getting his revenge, took a Samurai sword swung by his daughter Bolormaa (Crystal Woman) to the achilles chopping off his left foot. Falling in agony, he grabbed his own chopped off foot, rolled to his right, smacked her in the abdomen, then to her knee collapsing her to the ground, grabbing her throat and pinning her to the wall.

In the mere seconds that this all took to unfold, Molotov was sprinting up the stairs with an AK-47 taken from a Snow Yeti’s body now strapped to his back, a pocket full of C4 Explosives, and Molotov Cocktails in each hand, as 2 bloodied red fur-soaked Snow Leopards trailed not far behind.

Ganzorig dove behind a wall after seeing his new wife get impaled to her seat, sitting with his knees bent and his hands gripping 2 pistols next to his ears ready to enact his final stand.

As Molotov moved calculating each of his next few steps as he approached the a room that looked like a crime scene, he flicked one Molotov in the vicinity of Ganzorig but it smashed off the wall missing its target creating a small fire. Ganzorig leaned almost as if it was in slo-motion, falling to his right pulling the triggers to both his pistols impacting its target. Enkhutyaa spun around from the force of bullets ripping through his body as he slumped over his knees and died.

A Snow Leopard charged Ganzorig but was hit with a sledge hammer swung by a jumping Altantsetseg from the 2nd floor Thor style before the Leopard could get to him. Molotov threw his final Molotov Cocktail hitting Altantsetseg in the neck, engulfing her body and the Snow Leopard on fire.

Molotov pulled his sling to his AK-47, slid across the ground swinging his weapon to the right and shooting his sister a handful of times before aiming down his sights and focusing on Ganzorig. Molotov pushed up against the wall Ganzorig was on the other side of. The distance between the two, was feet at most as they plotted their next move. Quickly thinking, Molotov reached into his pocket, grabbed his C4 Explosive, put it on his side of the wall, primed it and ran for the exit. Ganzorig peaked from his position shouldering his AK to fire getting a shot off or two until Molotov cracked off the C4 blowing him through the glass wall perpendicular to him, killing him instantly.

Diving out of the room, Molotov gained his wits, reentering to find a room filled with blood, death, and suffering. Molotov said his last good-byes to his father and made the long journey home with the few remaining Snow Leopards in his pack.


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This picture was taken a few years later as Molotov was preparing for a hunt. And like his father, he discovered what mindfulness was truly about. The legend has it that the events that unfolded are a mere interpretation of what happened. Over the years, the tale has been changed with improved weaponry and antics, but those who knew Molotov and his father respect that tale and tell the truth for future generations to admire. Molotov still hunts and hones his skills, but is glad to give up death-dealing to future Tibetan Warlords in the years to come. Molotov will go down in history as a member of the two man death squad who killed Elite Snow Yeti fighters, a Tibet Warlord, and even his own mother and sisters in acts of justice and vengeance. He’ll never be forgotten, lives peacefully with his horse, his pack of Snow Leopards and most recently, his new girlfriend….


Did you like my short 2,000 word fictional story about a badass picture I found on the Internet? This took me a few hours to write today and the only edits are made for spelling and story structure. I might make this into a Monthly thing where I find a badass picture and create a fictional story about it. Who knows, maybe this will be the only article. This story could also be made a thousand times better, but for now I’m gonna release it RAW. 

Tweet me some badass GIFs and Pictures @TheAlbumWeb

 

 

 

 

 

 

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