When your teammates actually hit the bad guys and drop them. I’m talking about the AI not Co-Op.

It drives me insane playing games where there is a badass shootout and your teammates/allies can’t hit anything. It’s like they are shooting with their eyes closed. I can think of two games off the top of my head where your ally and teammates actually shot back accurately and effectively: Mafia III. Whether it was Vito’s goons coming to your rescue with Tommy Guns or during the Enzo mission where Folsom Prison Blues starts to play before the shootout. Badass. Bullets flying everywhere.

The other game was SOCOM II: US Navy SEALs on PS2. Wouldn’t be the best look if a bunch of SEALs were shooting in the air while you’re trying to take the target. Especially with no health regeneration, the ULTIMATE Rage Quit game to ever exist, I got a post coming about this all-time great game in the future, but let’s stay focused. They were “shoot the wings off a fly” type shots too, pretty impressive.

CoD is a joke. Yeah your teammates are getting smoked to your left and right, but they aren’t reciprocating the violence. That’s like sitting shotgun in your buddy’s car and he’s like, “Sorry my steering wheel fell off so we are just gonna drive straight into traffic until we die, sound good?” 

Battlefield 1 is alright with this. The previous Battlefield’s were awful. I would literally stop mid-mission and sit next to my teammate in the campaign and watch him shoot. Skipping in bullets across cinderblocks in the area of the enemy, but never actually hitting him. It was pathetic and a shame.

Just Cause 3 was atrocious. Not like it really mattered because most of the time I’d have Rico in an attack helicopter while rocketing rebels into the next galaxy. But, when it mattered for allied support, they wouldn’t do shit. Standing around shooting their AK’s at walls and rebel’s feet like a bunch of Cowboys

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You’re all like, “YES reinforcements! Hooray!” while explosions are going off, rebel turrets are shooting .50 cal bullets that rip people in half at you, bazookas are firing rockets zipping passed that wipes the sweat off your face and freaking Edwardo is picking his nose in the corner! Edwardo pick up a damn gun or bring a tank or something useful! I’m expecting a ninja-esque level of response to a full on WWIII assault from an entire battalion but instead we get Little Tommy from 4th grade Math class.

(Sidenote: “Cowboy Shooting” on Giphy.com is the ultimate wild wild west of the Internet, it’s chaos).

GTA V opening mission…a mission where you as the player have the ability to switch to all 3 characters. It’s pretty rad when the player realizes this, and also sucks grass because there is a small moment where you know you have to kill everybody. And if and that’s a small if, if they hit the cop responding to the current bank robbery mission, it’s a mere flesh wound and does nothing.


I understand that if your teammates are smoking everybody it might not appear to be fun because a lot of the bad guys were killed via badass teammates instead of death by tomahawk from your very own two hands. But when your teammates have an ounce of pride and self-preservation I tip my hat, a job well done mate, you showed up, I salute your efforts!

What games do you believe are the best in terms of allies/teammates and their shooting/death-dealing abilities?

Do you like that you are John Rambo and your teammates are day dreaming about what they’re having for lunch? Or would you prefer for a balanced team where your teammates shoot when called upon?

Tweet me @TheAlbumWeb if you know what’s good for you, or don’t because you’re a weirdo, fine by me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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